Ass Backwards...

You ever feel like you're doing things at the absolute wrong time? Things like trying to get a girlfriend during the summer, wearing white after labor day, going camping after hearing about the man eating lion in the woods? For me, it isn't that extreme but for the last two months I've been growing a beard. Now every dude at one point in life wants to grow a beard to assert his manhood & show how rugged he really is despite how into fashion & electronics he may be. Theres nothing like walking into a room with a full beard & having people assume that you can handle any problems that may arise. (Truth is, you have a hard time changing light bulbs & don't know what a Phillip's screwdriver is.)

Now that the reasons behind the beard have been established, let's talk about timing. If you don't plan on incorporating it into your look, it's ideal for dudes to grow their beards from the end of October to the beginning of February. A good full beard usually takes about a month & a half to grow (unless you're some type of freak show that wakes up on some ZZ top type stuff, or a 25 year old still waiting for puberty to run it's course.) & it's usually good to have a girlfriend when you partake on your journey. It's established, guys think beards are the coolest things ever but girls? THEY HATE BEARDS! I was looking at a Playboy article (seriously, lol) & I think the numbers were like 88% of the women surveyed would rather get it crackin with a clean shaven guy rather that an Al Borelin lookalike. You remember Al from Home Improvement, that dude had a killer beard, but was always getting shut down by the ladies, so you probably want to go into this with an established situation. I attempted to grow one last March & the girl I was dealing with hated it, I got past the 5o'clock shadow stage & cut it due to her bitching. I could have let it kept growing, but it gets hot out here in Cali early & them joints itch when the weather warms up. You also don't wanna miss out on partaking in late night summer festivities because the ladies aren't feeling your beard. (This doesn't apply to everyone, ima have my beard this summer but I'm a veteran when it comes to dealing with the ladies so its all good, lol)

I'ma keep ya'll updated on how my summer goes with this fly ass beard im sportin' yaddamean??? lol

Brian Wilson: Surf's Up

Leonard Bernstein expressed his admiration for the song during the television special:

“ There is a new song, too complex to get all of first time around. It could come only out of the ferment that characterizes today's pop music scene. Brian Wilson, leader of the famous Beach Boys, and one of today's most important musicians, sings his own 'Surf's Up.' Poetic, beautiful even in its obscurity, 'Surf's Up' is one aspect of new things happening in pop music today. As such, it is a symbol of the change many of these young musicians see in our future. ”


A masterpiece...

A.W.O.L.

Being the type of person that's always doing something, Its always nice to take some time to yourself & chill out. With the 4th coming up combined with a couple of late summer trips, I felt it was a good time to dissapear. When my cousin asked me to watch his 2 year old son, I figured this would be a good week to do take a sabbatical of sorts, no clubs, parties, dates (had one late night hangout, sue me) or internet. (Besides email & a quick browse, lol.) I also wanted the chance to see how it would be to have a son & how tough the daily duties are, I am getting older & figure that I have a couple of active years left before I settle down & get the family thing rolling. Watching lil man was cool, but dude is hyper as hell & I see why they call it the terrible 2's. I knew I was in for it when I asked him what movie he wanted to watch & his little voice uttered out "Grindhouse, I like scary movies." I'm shocked, but I put it on & dude was hype, & kept calling the girl with the gun leg his girlfriend. (LOL) The second shock came after I took him to get ice cream, he had his come & a fly kept buzzing around his face. The next thing I heard was "FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING FLY BOOTY HEAD BITCH!" screamed at the top of his little lungs. Now I'm sitting outside of the Baskin Robbins & everyone turns & looks at him, then look at me. I then push the ice cream cone in lil mans mouth & tell the bewildered patrons that he got that from the bad kid at daycare & got the hell outta dodge before someone called child protective services.

All & all, it was a challenging, but good week & I proved to myself that I could handle having a child of my own. I didn't know he would be a horror movie afficinado with the mouth of a sailor & an eye for the ladies, but I love the little guy and miss him already. I'll see him soon tho & this week should be crazy, heading out to Vegas wednesday. You already know...

Artist Of The Week: Gino Vannelli

You know he's dope just off the strength of the curly mullet & the chest hair, check him out...

Odd weekend BTW: I'll go into depth when I sober up, lol.

Internet. Serious Business...

Don't you love internet beef?

Zone Out...

Song Of The Moment:

Jefferson Airplane - White Rabbit

Hands Off...

I got a call this morning from a girl I'm quite fond of & she told me she's coming to see me. Awesome right? Hell'z yeah bra, the girl is mad sexy & a former prom queen. [Max B]OWWWWWWW[Max B] What makes this situation different is that she lives out of state & she is going to be staying with me for a couple of days. I immediately thought of a couple things I needed to do, #1 clean the bathroom, #2 holla at a couple "team members" & hit em with a good story on why I won't be available this weekend & #3, stop jacking off. Yeah I just said masturbating, number 3 is damn near part of my daily routine just like showering & going to work is. Nothing gets you more focused for the day than dropping the kids off at the pool, you go into work relaxed & with a clear head. (No pun intended, LMAO) Why I'm going on hiatus is when I have vagina accessible to me 24/7, I turn into a super perv. I'm not gonna lie, I'm quite the perv, but when I have someone around me 24/7 who's with it, I'ma go anytime & anywhere. I'm a vagina hypebeast, I'd camp out for some deadstock cooch...
So I gotta stop right now, I dont wanna wake up Monday & have my balls lookin like an empty pillowcase, all empty & leant to the left. I wanna have kids someday, so I'ma have to sacrifice a couple of sessions to preserve the family line...


Song of The Day:

Juelz Santana - Down

Intense Training

I know summer is here & all you ladies & gents are trying to get right by working out. I myself have actually started working out but I'm pretty sure none of us have anything on my dude Thundarr...

Drunk Dialing...

Is what I was doing last night & the reason I'm not at work today. (Hopefully my boss doesn't read this crap.) I figured since the Lakers were getting blasted, so would I. At halftime, I cracked open the Smirnoff & attempted to drink away the pain of watching my team get embarrassed. After my 6th shot, I forgot all about my bummy Lakers & proceeded to get my drunk text on. Drunk dialing (& texting) is a beautiful thing when you are inebriated, but definitely unappreciated the next day. I hit 5 different people up before somebody slid thru & had to deal with my alcohol flavored slobber. (lol) When I woke up from from my inebriation, I had all types of broads a sober Darius wouldn't want to deal with. Six, Crazy, Annoying, & Boring all hit me up talking about we should hang out today. Six gets no love anytime before 12am, Crazy is gonna think I want to start a relationship, Annoying is not seeing any type of return call & she'll probably blow me up for the rest of the week & Boring makes me want to kill myself when she isn't drunk. Boring, on the other hand has the breasts of an AVN award winner so I'll probably be getting her liqueured up tonight. Anyways, I'm still woozy from last night (damn idiots kept calling me this morning) so I'ma get some food & go back to sleep. I'll holla later about this damn SoCal weather...


Song of The Moment:

Wu Tang Clan - Bring Da Rukus

Designated Party Time?

After graduating from college, I haven't had to ahdere to a set schedule, but as the housing market went, so did my job. I wasn't in bad shape, I was given a severance package & began collecting unemployment but I knew I'd have to start looking for a new job. I wasn't afraid of doing something new, I just couldn't see myself having a monday thru friday, 9-5 type job. Being a manager of a lending company, I was afforded the freedom to come & go which honestly gave me alot of time to go out & party. For all you weekend partygoers, I don't know how your city is, but I live in Los Angeles & it always seemed like the best parties took place during the week. Industry parties, porn parties, album listening parties, parties just for the hell of it, I usually had a better time at these functions if they took place during the week. In my experience, the people who go out during the week are usually low-life, spoiled degenerates who don't have to worry about money or their future, the perfect people to party with. It's also less crowded, meaning you don't have to worry about the 5-3, 185 pound girl knocking a drink out of your hand. In a tightly packed club, she can look like the meteor from armagaddeon ready to collide & throw you out of orbit. (It's happened more than once, smh.) You also have the weekend party girls who are there "just to get out the house." It's like they are automatically in defense mode, I'll walk in their direction & get hit with "we aren't here to talk to guys, just dance." I'm thinkin to myself, you dizzy broad, you don't see the bathroom is right behind you, you're lucky I gotta hurry up & get this stain out my shirt. (Fat broad got me again, smh.) Now that I work for the DMV, I gotta deal with all this crap. I swear, as soon as this money funds, I'm out. (Hopefully it's by 4th of July weekend, I'ma stay in Vegas way past my original departure date.) I'm getting too old for the weekend party scene, although saturday night was quite memorable. (Pornstar takedowns For The Win...) Anyways, get out there & party it up on a wednesday night for me, you'll thank me.

P.S. Game 6 tomorrow in Boston is gonna be a tough one, leading to my song of the day.

Let's Go LAKERS!!!

Guns & Roses - Welcome To The Jungle

Arrgh!!!

That's the exact sound I uttered as I watched Sasha Vujacic flail his arms while Ray "I look like an extra from I Robot" Allen drove past him & put game 4 of the NBA finals out of reach for the LA Lakers. I was at Staples to witness this devestating moment 1st hand & real tears of anger & dissapointment. I don't think I've ever been on the other side of such a momumental comeback & as Kevin Harlan says, "all the life was sucked out the arena." Honestly, I've been in a daze these last 2 days due to the game making me ask the question, "Is it really just a game?" We as fans don't get paid, but we continue to invest so much in our beloved teams, for any die hard, it goes much deeper that just a simple game. I honestly hate Boston (or any other team for that matter) when we (the Los Angeles Lakers) play them & that feeling remains until we dispose of them. When we can't send the opposing team away with a loss, it feels like a small part of me dies & I can't watch ESPN until the next game. With that said, I'm looking forward to sunday's game to see what these dudes are made of.

I'm out, GO LAKERS!!!

Song Of The Day

Rage Against The Machine - Killing In The Name Of

Shoulda Been Updated...

Yeah yeah, I know I seemed really misty eyed last time I checked in & its true. I had recently went thru a home invasion robbery & a breakup with someone who had been in & out of my life for 3+ years. I'm not gonna front, the robbery drove me closer to her & I was using most of my energy to get her back. (Which didn't work BTW) After the situation finally came to an end, I began to come back to who I was & finally got back to being me. (Which is a hell of a lot more fun than lying around my house miserable wating for my phone to ring, smh. Gettin It Crackin > Being Misty Eyed) Besides all that crap, I've been to Rosarito twice & going to Vegas soon to play in the World Series of Poker. I also have a couple big pickups that I will show off soon, like Cam said, It's gonna be a hot summer...

BTW: Go Lakers, I'll be at game 4 tomorrow =)

Song of the day

Pink Floyd - Welcome To The Machine